I'm a Memory Hoarder

I'm a memory hoarder. I clench my fists firm, as if in the act of opening my hand the memories might slip the grasp of my mind, like a balloon escaping the grip of a child. I squeeze my memories hard, as if holding them tightly enough will keep the people in them from leaving. I've had to intentionally train myself to relax my grip on the past, to open my hand, to stop clenching my fists. 

This last week was good for me. I had four friends come home with me for Thanksgiving. The car and the house were cramped, its true, but we had sooo much fun. My new friends met my old friends, my new memories collided with my old memories, and it was surreal. We sung Christmas carols at the top of our lungs after tromping out into the forest to collect a tree. We played card games until our eyes stung from being up so late. We each did something new for us...(my new adventure was Black Friday shopping. Why in the stinkin' whole wide world do people get up in the wee hours of the morning to go shopping? Just why? Shopping is bad enough when you don't lose sleep over it. 

But hey! it was an adventure. I hope I never do it again, but at least I added to my experiences collection.)

I'm learning to cherish my memories, each one, without sucking the life out of them. I'm discovering, slowly how to learn from each moment, and move on to the next. I'm learning how to love my life now, and trust that NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS in the future, there will be things to thank God for. That's exciting. 

Actually, that's a really awesome thought! 

What if life is about being excited for what new thing we can thank God for...even if it's just sunshine or water or life. Life is about looking forward to what we can thank God for in the now, in the future, and in the hardships, not fearing what He'll take away. 

I'm thankful for friends that teach me how to invest in the people instead of just the memories. Who show me that they'll be there, no matter what, so I don't have to rely on old memories. I'm thankful for memories. But I'm thankful for you more. 

Also! Merry Christmas! 

~TBS~