We don't have Thanksgiving here, so November is just another month of the semi-rainy season. It's been muggy lately. I miss the crisp weather that is perfect for soups, chili and cornbread, hot chocolate, and my mom's AMAZING home-simmered apple cider.
A few days ago, I was helping Laura cook and mentioned that in the United States we often have chili and cornbread this time of year. It took me a while to explain what chili was. I'm not sure if it was because of my lack of Spanish speaking skills or because it isn't a traditional dish here. I think it was a mix of both. But, the next day she made cornbread with the most amazing beans ever! I felt so loved, seen, and heard.
Chelsea, Mama Laura, and me on the farm in Campo Verde approximately 30 minutes from Pucallpa.
My heart needs to give thanks. So, for the remaining weeks in November, I want to talk about what has given me hope, strength, and life.
Eucharisteo: Greek - To give thanks. Broken down: Charis - Grace. Chara - Joy. In full: Eucharisteo - To remember. To sit in joy. To seek thanksgiving.
Concept taken from Ann Voskamp and her book "1,000 Gifts"
1) I've been spending a lot of time with the locals lately, and that has helped me tons. I've made it a point to cook with Mama Laura, help Joel with his English homework, run errands around town with Papa Henrry, and practice conversations with Juan and Rosita. My Spanish is picking up quickly. It still has a LONG way to go, but I noticed this week that I was able to have more conversations without using Google Translate. I'm often able to understand questions with zero prior context. And, I'm even starting to find my own sense of humor and personality in Spanish.
2) We received our packages from Walla Walla this week! Oh! That was a good day. There was a t-shirt, a sticker, tons of candy (soy and diary free! THANK YOU!), notes from friends, a bunch of card stock, a polaroid picture, and necessities like toothbrushes and vitamin c gummies (which I accidently didn't store properly so now those have ants.) There is just something so, so special about hand-written notes and gifts that traveled across the world.
3) With so many things around me suddenly being vastly different, I'm finding myself clinging to that which is steady and most familiar. Sometimes that means hanging around the wifi just a little more than I ought to hopefully connect with friends and family at home. But, more and more, I'm finding myself gravitating towards my Bible, hymns with familiar tunes, and my relationship with God. This has been the greatest comfort of all.
The last few years, particularly since college started, I've battled to keep up my devotional life. And, if I'm being honest, I failed a lot more than I succeeded. And when I did succeed, it was more because I knew it was important and less because I felt the pull, need, and desire. A small part of me was starting to wonder if the quiet yet strong desire to faithfully spend time with God would fully come back. Would it ever again be more than just something "I knew was important?"
Part of me hoped that an SM year would force me to run to Jesus. Don't hear me wrong, no part of me thinks that being an oversees missionary makes me more "Jesus-y," and I didn't come with the idea that taking away my dearest comforts would make me more spiritual. In fact, I happen to believe that we could all be a lot more effective with the gospel if we didn't have the hidden ideology that all true missionaries live in exotic lands or dire circumstances. The gospel is most effective when it it's put to work directly in our own homes.
While the last couple of months HAVE driven me to the feet of Jesus, I realized it was the steady faithfulness over years of "not quite feeling it" that came to the rescue. I've never been more thankful for the time I did spend quietly, steadily, faithfully making my faith a priority. In a time when I long for the familiar, my faith is the most familiar thing I have. It shows me, that in the last few years, when I have struggled to hold on to Jesus, He has not struggled to hold onto me.
4) You should probably duct tape your mouth closed before you read this next part. That way your jaw doesn't unhinge when it drops. I'm mostly talking to you, mom. ;)
I've decided that part of embracing this culture is embracing Christmas music at the beginning of November. We don't have Thanksgiving soooo, I'm not really jumping the gun... am I? Besides we don't get snow, so I have to make up for some missing Christmas vibes. I have discovered that Christmas music makes me feel at home. When I close my eyes I can almost imagine the cozy atmosphere...except it's like 80+ degrees. But, ya know!
5) I tried to avoid teaching with nearly every bone in my body. It was one of the main reasons I chose to come to Peru. They didn't need a teacher. They needed a journalist. I could do that! It was a perfect fit. And, honestly, it has been... but I still ended up saying yes to teaching English for one hour two times a week. That experience has been a lot less stressful than I imagined. I definitely still have a -20% desire to become a long term teacher... but dang it! my kidlets melt my heart. After class the other day I asked if anyone wanted to pray. Felix raised his hand and started praying, "Hola Senor. Gracias por hermana Brooke y esto lenguaje nosotros podemos aprender." Translated: "Hello, God. Thank you for sister Brooke, and this new language we can learn." Be still my heart. If you could see the smiles he and his younger brother give me, you would melt too.
What's happening to me? I adopted some cats, have been listening to Christmas music before thanksgiving, and started teaching. But, I still don't like beets, papayas, or boiled bananas, so I think I'm still the same person.
6) I now have plenty of material to write about which has been totally exciting. Not gonna lie, I was afraid my creativity wasn't going to survive the period of writer's block that I have been in for several years.
7) When I arrived in Peru, I was drained. I don't mean I was a little tired. I mean, I had nothing left to give. The go-go-go, run-run-run of American culture had been eating away at me for several years, but particularly in those last four-ish months. Normally a motivated person, I didn't want to do ANYTHING. Nothing. Nada. I didn't even want to do fun things that I normally thrive on. And, I couldn't figure out why on Earth God chose THAT time to send me across the world to live for nine months without a single familiar soul. Talk about bad timing.
You know what's funny though. While I've been here to serve, I have finally been given the opportunity to rest. It's opened my eyes to the reality that one can give their life to serving others, and STILL take care of themselves. Peruvian culture is suuuper chill. I'm told that's Latino culture in general, but right now, all I know first hand is Peru. Here, adults know how to play. They know how to rest. They know how to sit and let life pass on. And, while our culture tells us that is a waste of time, I think the Peruvians realize something we forgot.
The other day I was standing next to Papa Henrry watching some families play volleyball.
Henrry: Families often play volleyball in the afternoon. It's a big custom here.
Me: Really? Like every afternoon?
Henrry: Yeah, most afternoons.
Me: Wow! We don't know how to play in the United States.
Henrry: You don't know how to play volleyball?
Me: Oh no! I mean, we don't understand the concept of play. We just work, work, work, run, run, run. We jump from task to task. We don't spend our afternoons enjoying life.
Henrry: Oh.
I need to learn that life doesn't have to be stressful to be going somewhere. Life doesn't have to be packed to be lived at it's fullest. Life doesn't have to be "productive" to be purposeful.
And maybe... maybe that's why I'm here. Maybe I'm here to learn that hustle isn't the gospel. Maybe I'm here to learn that giving doesn't have to mean depleting. Maybe I'm here to learn that when my steady faithfulness doesn't seem to be "doing anything," the results are waiting. They're waiting for the future when I need God to be familiar.
Maybe that's why I'm here. And for that, I give thanks.
~TBS~
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