This Is Me. This Is Now. Because of Him.

     Wind whipped my hair in circles across my face.  Fat, cold drops of rain splattered on my eyelashes, pounced upon my nose, and tickled my smile.  The car rumbled swiftly down the gravel road as I gazed happily out across the turquoise water of the lake encircled with trees and log houses.  The window was rolled down, and I rested my head upon the door frame; hence the wind and rain dancing merry jigs across my face.  Autumn was hurriedly settling itself in Montana, and as it typically does, it had brought crisp, cool weather along on its vacation.

~~~

 

     To ask for more in life would be foolery.  I love my life.  I truly, honestly do.  It's not perfect.  Umm...duh!  But, I have so much.  Food.  A roof over my head.  Books. A progressing education.  Mountains.  Two stupendous parents. A puppy. One pretty, stinkin' awesome brother. Chai. Laughter. One-of-kind friends. Christ! The list goes on...  As I look over my life, it's sixteen years worth of memories, I cannot think of a time when I wasn't blessed beyond all measure.  I've kept 'thankful lists' off-and-on throughout the years, never as faithfully as I should have or would have liked.  Yet, persistent calculation of my blessings or not, I have never lacked anything.  Never.

 

~~~

 

 Fog gripped the hillsides.  My lungs expanded with fresh, crisp air.  Autumnal air is always remarkable, however after having been used to thick, grotty smoke billow along the wind for the greater part of two weeks the cleanliness in the atmosphere was particularly invigorating.  Closing my eyes, I laid still, and felt.  I felt peace flood my body.  I felt joy penetrate my soul. I felt the contentment of that Sabbath afternoon drive.

 

~~~



    

 I love my life.  And, yet, so often (oh! so pathetically often) I find myself longing for the future.  Longing for life to be another way.  Longing for this.  Longing for that. Or. I find myself pining after memories.  Wishing myself a little girl again. Wishing my self back to last year, or the year before.  Dreaming of life differently.  Desiring what I had yesterday.  Yesterday; when I wished I had today.  I find myself forgetting (no! sometimes even ignoring) the gifts I have today.  To use a long time family joke, "And am I proud of it? NOOOOO!" Sigh!

 

~~~

 

I sat, my head still resting on the door frame, my eyes still gazing at the beauty of that Montana sight, my face still pelted with rain and blown with the breath of sky.  I sat.  I listened to the conversation of my family. I gazed. I felt. I didn't long for tomorrow.  I didn't dream of yesterday. I simply felt. And it felt wonderful. It felt new. It felt...beautiful.   That was me. That was then.  Tonight? Tonight, this is me. This is now.  I'll rejoice in the beauty of the moment.  In the joy of my writing. In the peace of Jesus.

 

~~~

 

Contentment is an important Biblical principle, and for good reason.  It's not just a blessing for others when we have contentment.  It's a blessing for ourselves. In Philippians 4:12-13, Paul declares, "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret to being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."  1 Timothy 6:6-7 states, "But godliness with contentment is great gain.  For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it."  And in 2 Corinthians 12:10, "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong."

 

So, how DO we live in contentment? Through Jesus.  Through the breathlessly beautiful truth of His love, of His grace, and of His sacrifice.  Only Jesus can give us the desires of our heart. I need this as a reminder more than anyone.

 

My challenge for you today, tonight, forevermore, is to thank your Heavenly father for the blessings he has poured out upon you.  For it is through Him, and Him only, that life is given.  He is the creator of all joy.  He loves to hear you praise Him, and, you know, it will bless you as well.  Take heart.  It is Him who gives us strength, and it is Him who gives us contentment.

 

~ Brooke